I don’t know how much most authors get into their characters, but I become them as I write. I cry when they do, I get angry when they’re angry, and giddy when they’re happy. I feel more like my stories and characters come from outside of myself and I just put it down onto paper. I don’t know what that says about me. Perhaps it means I’m crazy.
I do that with every character, but there’s one in particular that I’ve been really surprised I can write. That’s Cain. He’s angry, selfish, crazy, and lashes out in really mean ways. He does things that I honestly had never even thought of before I wrote them. They kind of just came out of my fingers, shocking even me with their cruelty. You see, I’m not a cruel person. I just don’t think that way. I prefer to be the positive, nice person who tries not to engage with bullies, even when they’re attacking me in front of everyone. I just don’t think they’re worth it. So to have someone like Cain and his darkness come out of my mind in a totally subconscious way, it kind of makes me wonder what I have deep down in my depths. Like the way he murders a very famous queen in the second book. It’s totally psychotic. It’s amazing that it came out of such a sweet little Mormon girl.
I always wondered what Cain would be diagnosed with. Is he a sociopath? What would be his diagnosis? I didn’t go to school for that kind of thing so when a fan who is in the midst of that very thing did a psychoanalysis of Cain from my series, The Cain Chronicles, I seriously thought it was the coolest thing ever. It feels right on the money. Check it out!
“As for Cain, he’s a tough nut to crack. The best diagnosis for him is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That would be what I thought of as the prevailing issue. I say this because of the experience he had when he jumped off of the cliff and was pinned under the water for an unknown amount of time and kept drowning over and over and how that stripped away so much of his humanity. He also has abandonment issues due to his perceived rejection by God. This aggravated the resentment he already felt towards his parents and brother Abel because of how he felt so dismissed and overburdened by their constant reliance and simultaneous complete disregard of him. It’s interesting, because he had a natural sense of responsibility, a need to take care of things and keep order. He felt this even before Hara, and did well to keep a balance through the Mokolios.
Even when he was ‘evil’ he still had a strong sense of right and wrong. He did everything to get God’s attention, but not really to best Him, to get Him to finally speak to him again. He really wanted to finally get somebody’s approval and unconditional love. Once he got it, though, he didn’t know what to do with it, he couldn’t trust it because he had never had a time where he’d felt he had it before, so he had no frame of reference on how to allow it to do what it was supposed to do: heal him.”
So what do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Have anything to add? I’d love to hear your opinions! If you haven’t read it yet (or know someone who would like it), it will be on sale tomorrow (November 12, 2013 starting at midnight PST) through midnight November 19, 2013 in the U.S. The first two books are out and the third comes out this winter so it’s the perfect time to start reading it. And no, though it’s about Cain (as in Cain and Abel, the son of Adam and Eve), it’s not meant to be a religious or Christian series. People get that out of it if they’re looking for that, but those who aren’t looking for that usually don’t see it as such.
It’s also for sale in all other countries where Amazon has a site. Here are a couple of links for those.