I know the Met Gala 2014 was two weeks ago, but I didn’t have a chance to write about it (due to Convozine being down and my recent hip surgery taking all my energy) and really, really wanted to. Every year, it absolutely amazes me: the gowns, the hair, everything. Sure, normal red carpet events are awesome, but I can see them on the red carpet all the time. The models I follow, I can’t. Besides, where an actress or singer might look absolutely gorgeous, the models look straight off the runway. And for someone as runway obsessed like I am, very little can get better than that. I literally spent the whole evening staring at all the models in my Instagram feed, oooing and aaahing every two seconds.
This year the theme was pretty broad. Where last year had a limited theme: Punk, this year it was all about James Charles. Since most people haven’t really heard of him, I’m going to explain him a tiny bit so you can understand the looks chosen. James Charles was born at the turn of the 20th Century. He got his start designing hats, but soon turned to what he was best known for: ballgowns that were all about the sexy silhouettes that really showed off a body. See why I’m so excited? Where punk was a fun theme, it lacked a lot of amazing ballgowns that I look forward to at the Met Gala.
So because there were way too many people on the red carpet, I’m only going to talk about my top picks and my worst picks. I had so many of each that it was really hard to narrow it down, and I ended up having to cut out some looks I loved (it’s the first time in forever that Taylor Swift hasn’t made my top 10!).
Most of my top picks ended up being the really huge dresses, but I loved them and really felt like they fit the theme. I really liked Zoe Saldana’s Michael Kors gown. It’s not something I would usually go for, but Zoe works it so well that it somehow found itself holding on as I ruled out looks for the top ten. Maybe it’s because it kind of makes her look like a flower in bloom that I couldn’t help but be drawn to.
My next favorite gown was the golden Diane von Furstenberg that Jessica Alba wore. If I’m honest, then the gown really isn’t top ten worthy, but again, like with Zoe’s, it’s all about how it’s worn. And the way that the gold clutch and fabric brings out her lustrous skin, I couldn’t stop staring. Also, Jessica Alba is my major girl crush, and has been since Dark Angel debuted back in 2000. I kind of stalked her fashion choices for years, so it’s not a surprise that she ended up in my top ten without it being a major fairytale gown.
Now for the princess ballgowns…. I adored the bright red Ralph & Russo Couture gown that Arizona Muse wore. The bottom half was really pretty, reminding me of a flower. I like how she kept everything else minimal (hair slicked back, very little jewelry) so nothing distracted from the gown.
Karlie Kloss was the opposite. Her Oscar de la Renta gown had such intense embroidery that it must have taken weeks and weeks to make. I loved the 3D look to it. Pairing it with long black leather gloves, diamonds, a lady-like updo, nude lips, and a smokey eye were the perfect balance to really let her shine.
Toni Garrn wore this light indigo one drop-shouldered gown from Topshop that was really pretty. I think she’s wearing the same necklace as Karlie, but that doesn’t matter because her look couldn’t be more different. I loved the way she mixed vintage waves with bleached eyebrows. It was really risky to have no brows at an event like this, but I think that’s actually kind of what made me love this look the most. It might have been too perfect and pretty otherwise.
Suki, oh Suki, one of my favorite models…. Suki Waterhouse was able to mix two of the most popular colors this season (nude and blush) in one gown literally just made of ruffles. As the face of Burberry, it’s not surprising she went with them, but what is surprising is how much I loved this look when I usually shy away from too many ruffles. But somehow she makes them look kind of edgy rather than too girly. Maybe it’s the red lipstick, or just her attitude, but I kind of died just looking at it.
The big shocker of the evening was the massive burgundy Zac Posen gown that Sarah Silverman wore. I’ve never thought of her as someone who knew anything about fashion, but she really nailed it with this look. Her dark hair, natural makeup, and olive skin complemented it perfectly.
I’ve been watching Hailee Steinfeld for years just waiting for her to move from child actor to young lady. I feel like the black and white Prabal Gurung achieved this. The color-blocking was perfect, and I loved the little rise in the front of the gown to show off her shoes and the pink lining inside. The slick hair and black and white jewelry were an awesome choice. I can’t wait to see what she wears next.
Now for my top two, which were really hard to choose which one I liked best from. But I did. The one I liked the tiniest bit less was the gorgeous metallic teal Zac Posen gown that Liu Wen wore. The skirt was so big that it made me think of that woman in The Nutcracker ballet that lifts her gown and all the kids come dancing out of it. But much better. I adore Liu Wen anyways. She’s so elegant. And honestly, she’s one of the only models I can see not being overwhelmed by such a huge dress.
My absolute favorite was the not quite navy Marchesa that Karolina Kurkova wore. I’ve never really been a fan of her, but I have to admit her gown was awesome. I love the hard angles paired with the flowers that look hand-painted. Crazy thing is that I was looking on Instagram and it seems like it was actually put on her piece by piece. I believe it! It was amazing, but I kind of can’t help but wonder how hard it would have been to go to the bathroom in that. Would they have had to take it apart?
Now for the worst. I’m going to start with the metallic orange 3.1 Philip Lim gown Solange Knowles wore. Maybe this is why she beat up Jay-Z in the elevator? I know ‘80s are in, but this was just a little funky. Okay, I could have liked it, but her hair with it was just awful. It looked like she’d just rolled out of bed.
There was technically nothing wrong with the lavender Tory Burch gown that Rashida Jones wore. It’s just that, well, it reminded me of a Barbie birthday cake I had as a kid. Her gown of frosting looked just like this gown. I swear! I couldn’t really get past that. All I could see was a Barbie cake.
Rita Ora’s gold Donna Karan was actually really pretty…until she added the ribbon up one leg and one arm. Again, it made me think of a Barbie. This time a fairy Barbie. And where I could have gotten over that, her hair and makeup were just AWFUL. They were too harsh for the rest of the look.
I actually feel really bad for Greta Gerwig and her Theory by Olivier Theyskens gown. It was put together really haphazardly and the bottom looked like it was made out of a trampoline. Which actually could be cool! Just not in this dress. I don’t think there was one thing on this dress that was added in a flattering way. Honestly, I’m surprised it was made by a real designer because I can’t even sew and I could probably make something better than that. Okay, I did one when I had to sew my own pioneer clothes to go push a handcart for a week to try to learn what the people who settled my native state of Utah went through to get there. Seriously, my pioneer clothes were cuter than this dress!
Margot Robbie’s Prada was just…weird. It actually looks like a vintage lamp to me. The bottom half was kind of cool, other than the way it was cut. And the top was just awful. So bad I can’t even think of something mean to say.
I know this is sacrilege, but I HATED Beyonce’s Givenchy. It didn’t even look like a dress, and it definitely wasn’t flattering. James Charles was all about showing off a woman’s curves, and Beyonce has some of the best curves in the world, but she just hid them in mesh that looked more like painted chicken wire than anything else.
Another awful Givenchy was the gown that Naomi Watts wore. It honestly looked like she was wearing a diaper. I know she’s an old woman in Hollywood’s standards, but she’s such a pretty lady so she should be showing off how sexy she is, not look like she’s wearing Depends.
Kristen Stewart’s Chanel was beyond weird. It has too many trends in one: sheer panel, feathers, beading. I loved her hair, but the dress was atrocious. Though it was better than Sarah Paulson’s Prada. Her gown looked like a little kid had made it. It looked like things were just haphazardly glued all over it. Of course, that’s dissing all the little kids out there and their art, because I’m sure they could make a better dress than that.
And what was up with Kate Upton and her Dolce & Gabbana? It was a really bad attempt at adding a bit of Spanish flair. It was more like a really bad costume worn at a Renaissance Faire, albeit a historically inaccurate one.
Elizabeth Olsen proved she doesn’t have the same fashion sense as her older sisters when she showed up wearing a short blue Miu Miu that I swear I’ve seen at the Ice Capades. And what on earth was she thinking by pairing it with red and yellow shoes? What, she needed all the primary colors? Not one part of that outfit went with any other part of it.
Of course, it was still better than Brie Larson’s very shiny Prada pants and tunic. I don’t really get how this fit the theme. She looks like a gold and navy disco ball. Her hair was pretty cool. I admit that I’d totally go for that, but it had nothing to do with anything else unless she was TRYING to look like a couture clown.
Maybe it was just Prada or something, because the…whatever it was Prada that Lupita Nyong’o wore was just…just…please murder me. It was a sparkly dreamcatcher over a boring brown gown. And the headband? It kind of reminds me of Disney’s The Princess and the Frog, with the slightly flapper feel to it. Except that if she was a frog, nobody would ever get past that outfit to kiss her and turn her back into a princess no matter how stunning she is. It makes Katie Holmes’ Marchesa Beauty and the Beast dress ravishing in comparison (which totally made me puke at the awful attempt. Belle looked a billion times better).
That being said, it was Oscar worthy if you put it next to the silvery tulle disaster that was Sandra Lee’s gown. It was like a bad flashback from an ‘80s wedding. I think the worst part was the vague heart-shape with the puffy parts. Or the hundreds of pounds of tulle popping out from the sides. Or…I could go on and on. But I’m already traumatized enough and don’t want to sear it into your memory.
Well, enough meanness for one day. I actually feel bad because I got REALLY mean. I usually try to stay as positive as possible, but the bad outfits here were just really, really bad. Anyway, if you need a POSITIVE fashion fix, hit up Fierce and Free Fashion on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Fierce-and-Free-Fashion/370678573052242, follow my mostly Fashion-oriented Tumblr, http://adseeleyauthor.tumblr.com, my Pinterest, which has numerous fashion boards, http://pinterest.com/adseeleyauthor, or my Instagram http://instagram.com/adseeleyauthor.
© 2014 A.D. Seeley
All Photos From: Vogue.com, Wonderwall.com, huffingtonpost.com, eonline.com, harpersbazaar.com, and Suki Waterhouse’s personal Instagram @sukiwaterhouse