Why Real Women Don’t Always Have Curves

Okay, is anyone as tired as I am about the whole “real women have curves” movement? Does this mean that, even if you have lady parts, if you’re skinny, you’re not a real woman? Because I’m sorry, but I think this is ridiculous. Haven’t we already done way too much over the course of history to feel beautiful? (If you don’t know how much, check out my article “Beauty Through the Ages”). But now, instead of doing something dangerous for our outside, we do something dangerous for our inside by putting down others to feel better about ourselves. I’m sorry, but plain and simple, this is another form of bullying. Unfortunately, it’s everywhere.

No matter where I look (Facebook has a page dedicated solely to making curvy girls feel like they’re more beautiful than skinny girls and I literally just read a comment in a beauty magazine about how it was so nice to have Kim Kardashian on the cover because her curves of a “real woman” were a good role model for the commenter’s daughter), there are people putting down the thin to talk up the “natural” beauty. And when they say natural, they mean not thin. Because yeah, a thin girl of course isn’t natural. Cue eye roll here.

Okay, so I can totally understand the beginning of this movement. Since the ‘60s, the thinner you are, almost the more beautiful you supposedly are. The silhouettes of Marilyn Monroe were replaced with those of Twiggy, and then Kate Moss came onto the scene in the ‘90s and all of a sudden it was all about looking like a heroin addict. With the average woman becoming larger, but the average model becoming thinner, women just didn’t feel beautiful. But that’s not because of the other women. That’s what most people don’t seem to get. If you have healthy body confidence, then you won’t see yourself as less than when you come upon one of these smaller girls. Instead you see them for beautiful, as well as you see yourself that way. So if you have body issues, no matter what type of body you look at, you’re going to see it in a skewed way.

Of course, since so many people seem to have body issues, they blamed looking at models for their problems. That’s when “real” women started being put in magazines. I remember the first real picture in Glamour that began this. Instead of the typical thin model, there was this girl (Lizzie Miller) who was a size 12 or so. She was nude with only a tiny pair of panties on, and she had this gut that hung over the waistband of it. I’ll admit that, at the time, I had my own body issues. So to see this woman who was the same size as me, if not bigger than me, and see her fat rolls and everything, and the way that, despite them, I still saw her as beautiful, really was the turning point into realizing that I was beautiful despite what I felt was a flaw. So many people responded to that picture that Glamour started adding “real” women to their magazine every once in a while.

Okay, so as I said, this began as a positive movement. The “average” woman was able to see herself in the pages of the magazines and see that she was beautiful. But then it got out of control. Instead of just being the average woman, or the curvy woman, it became the “real” woman.

I myself am not a skinny girl. I’m about 5 lbs overweight, all of which is on my belly as my legs, butt, and back are solid muscle. But I don’t think that gives me a right to tear down skinny girls. Instead, I look at them and wonder what they don’t like about their bodies, because “perfect” or not, everyone has something they hate about their bodies, and hopefully something they love. I’ve even heard of skinny girls who try so hard to gain weight, but they can’t. They’re crying about their weight just as much as girls trying to lose it do. And comments like, “Only dogs like bones, men like meat” only add to this hatred of skinny girls’ small frames.

I have this friend who always makes you turn your negative comments into a positive. Don’t like your huge calves? Well, they make it so you can run faster. Don’t like your jiggly belly, well, it means you have food storage if you ever get stuck somewhere. Don’t like your enormous butt, well, it shows your heritage. Or your huge biceps. Well, they mean that you can do more push-ups then the men. These are my things. The parts of my body that I’ve had issues with and the things that I told myself to make them into positives. And when I have a “fat” day, my friend will make me look at a picture of Queen Latifah and admit how absolutely beautiful she is. It’s changed my whole outlook. Now I can see a skinny girl and I don’t think anything other than what makes her beautiful. I do the same when I see a “curvy” woman. When we can change how we see others, only then can we change the way we see ourselves. Because if we’re looking at women and degrading them to make ourselves feel better, what we’re really doing is putting our minds in a negative frame of mind until that’s all it will see: the negative.

So let’s do this together. Whenever we see a man, or a woman, anyone, if we think a negative thought about their looks, let’s make an effort to find something positive. Because we’re all beautiful in our own way. And please, PLEASE, never ever talk about what body makes a woman real because the fact is, the skinny girls are just as real as the bigger girls. So let’s show the love and solidarity that make us decent human beings who aren’t defined by their size.

I’ve attached some of these anti-skinny girl memes so you can see sort of what I’m talking about. To see them, click this link to go to Fierce and Free Fashion’s Convozine page: http://convozine.com/fierceandfreefashion/35735

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9 thoughts on “Why Real Women Don’t Always Have Curves

  1. Carla Krae says:

    I’m one of those naturally skinny girls that has heard comments. The crazy thing I don’t get in my personal case is that I’m also 5’2″. I get people saying “concerned” comments about the fashion models that start at 5’8″. But to tell petite women that they must have an eating disorder to be this size? Um, excuse me? I come from a family of small women on both parents’ sides, though even where they aren’t small they’re all short.

    I hate all the judging. As long as a woman feels healthy and her doctor agrees she’s healthy, who the hell cares what size clothes she wears?

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    • The good thing is that, nowadays, the models need to be healthy. You can tell the difference between a model with an eating disorder and a normal, healthy model who just happens to be thin. Models, for the most part, are the girls with that body type. I’ve seen a couple top models who were healthy end up getting eating disorders once they became women because their body all of a sudden changed, but most models start at around 16, and with such low body fat percentages, they probably haven’t even begun to menstruate. It’s a part of why they’re so lanky. The good thing is that the industry isn’t silent about eating disorders anymore. The agents and the designers will say something when they can see a problem starting, as well as they stop booking the model until she’s healthy again.

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  2. Shaya says:

    I am one of those skinny girls who has been bullied, ostracized at parties, and been the recipient of “backhanded compliments”. I’ve always been thin, and most of the time past thin to skinny. I have tried to gain weight. I’ve asked doctors for advice only to get, “Just eat whatever you want to.” I’m a real woman, I do have curves, just in smaller proportion than some others. Things I don’t like about my body? I don’t wear shorts because my legs are too thin; I look ridiculous. I can’t buy just a regular, thinly padded comfortable bra unless I pay twice what I’m willing to. I guess the bra makers decided that if I wear the size I do, I MUST want to be at least a cup size larger. I have a terrible time finding clothes that fit that don’t look like I’ve raided some teenage girl’s closet. I like me, my husband tells me I’m beautiful, but I can’t leave the house without being told by a stranger, usually in some half-laughing tone, that I need to eat more or they wish they had “my problem.” I’m not sure if those comments or the sneers are worse.

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    • I knew someone who had to special order her bras because they didn’t sell her band size in the stores. She’s so tiny. I think that would be hard. And it’s stupid that you have to pay more money to get something that should be cheaper.

      I feel like people always assume that thin women have it all. They’re too busy envying the naturally-thin women that they don’t realize that it might not be a good thing to the thin woman. Especially with this awful new trend of shaming thin women to make them feel better. I don’t understand how they can’t look at it and realize that they’re looking at thin women the exact way they don’t want to be looked at themselves.

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      • I saw a really cute Etsy designer that did smaller sizes. If you’d like, I can see if I can find who they were?

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      • Shaya says:

        Oh, yes, if you find them again I will check them out. Thanks!

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      • When I get a chance, I’ll try to look. I remember they handmade a lot of vintage-looking bras and underwear and since they made them, you could order whatever size you wanted. Also, I don’t remember them being too expensive. They had some really delicate pieces that were really pretty.

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  3. Omg thank you for this!!! Those posts drive me absolutely insane… I am a skinny girl, underweight. No matter how hard I try, I just cannot gain weight. Of course, it does cause issues with the way I see myself and those type of memes or whatever just don’t help at all. I wish I had just a little more meat on my bones, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve got to put up with rude remarks like “do you have an eating disorder?” or “what do you eat?”. Seriously people, would you DARE walk up to an overweight girl and ask the same question? NO. Why? Because it’s rude. It’s not any less rude to do it to skinny people. And it doesn’t mean we’re on drugs either. All women are beautiful. Ladies need to start realizing! Majority of these posts you’re talking about come from other women.

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    • Exactly! They would be so offended at the comments if they were turned on them. And I get where it started. It was them trying to feel better about not being skinny, but it’s so negative, and negativity only breeds more negativity. There are ways to feel better about yourself without tearing someone else down to get it. Every time I see one of those memes I want to punch the person in the face. And you’re very right. It’s women making these, which angers me even more. That’s why I wanted to write this. I wanted them to realize what they’re doing because it’s bullying, plain and simple, and it needs to stop.

      I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through this. I’m average in size so I’ve never really had anyone comment on my weight either way. But it still makes me mad. I even had a friend who once had an eating disorder say something when I posted a picture of some Victoria’s Secret models. She called them anorexic and all these things and it made me so angry because they’re so careful about the girls they hire and their health. They don’t hire the girls with eating disorders. And to have this thin friend saying the exact same things to make herself feel better as “curvy” girls say about thin girls to make themselves feel better, that’s when I realized how bad this issue was getting. The “tear her down for having the body I want to feel better about the body I have” thing. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop now.

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